The weight of my thoughts

I almost snapped by the weight of the incongruity of my thoughts.

Wanting and not willing to go. Stuck in the in-between, of wanting and loving and not acting on it.

I almost went to you today, but was afraid you wouldn’t be there, or of what you’d say.

Seeing you as I do, trying to be seen without being seen, struggling in days like today, when idleness inevitably sends my thoughts to you.

Yes, I confess, I have to keep busy to pretend, to flesh out the makings of daily life without you.

I almost went today, and I didn’t, again.

I just hope that, in time, you’ll still be there, willing to take a chance on me.